Revolutionary Anarchist Mom and Baby League, "Allies, Who Aren't"
"Allies, Who Aren't"
RAMBL (Revolutionary Anarchist Mom and Baby League), April 09, 2003
The radical environmental movement in the US is losing the next generation of families by labeling family issues as irrelevant and failing to see how parenting is a part of the revolution and kids are the next revolutionaries. We're frustrated when the movement for social justice steals our ability as mothers to continue to work as organizers and artists, while whining that not enough parents care about social reforms. We're tired of activists wondering where all the parents are when we're sitting at home with no money, no transportation and no childcare. That is why we have formed the Revolutionary Anarchist Mom and Baby League (RAMBL) to address these issues.
>>
While many of us are struggling for daily survival--looking for living wage jobs, affordable housing, quality childcare and healthcare for our families--the indignity from people who should be our allies has been particularly difficult. We expect to struggle against the world; we don't expect to struggle in our own community. This article is just a baby step in creating a community that is actively pro-family, pro-kid and pro-woman. In turn, we believe that we are crawling toward creating a more humane and just world.
While the issues raised below impact all moms, moms who are women of color, queer, young, disabled and/or poor face disproportionately more oppression. Our collective voice in this article reflects experiences of individual RAMBL mothers. Our intent is not to provide your affinity group with a connect-the-dots solution. Rather, our intent is to open your eyes to our experiences. It is your responsibility to analyze and change privileged assumptions and exclusionary behavior.
Parenting in Our Scene
When we became mothers, our lifestyle options are were reduced. At times members of our activist community criticized us for utilizing the very few resources available (like welfare), while doing nothing to broaden options for activist mothers or create alternatives that are transformative and empowering for both parents and society as a whole.
It bothers us that people have offered support but have never bothered to follow up. We don't want to have to beg people for help, but we do want offers of support to be real. We're tired of seeing other parents as the only people interested in baby-sitting or childcare.
We also have a major problem with someone who doesn't have kids judging our parenting or methods of discipline, especially while failing to recognize the narrow bandwidth of "acceptable" parenting. A mom is called too lenient if she doesn't publicly castigate her child for "misbehaving" (i.e. talks at a meeting). However, this same mom is called too strict when she "makes" the child say please and thank you.
Sure it's great to use cloth diapers, but as a stressed out single mama, it isn't always possible. Holier-than-thou purist advice about things like diapers is something we can't stand. Instead of commenting on how gross you think it is that a mom uses disposable diapers, why don't you help her get a washing machine so that she can wash reusable diapers. Instead of judging, try taking the burden off of her shoulders.
Responsibilities and Relationships
Being proactive and investing in women before a child is born seems like a good idea. Why isn't equal financial support from a baby's daddy an issue of social justice? Why is a father praised for doing anything with his child, but when a mom spends the same amount of time with her kid, she's criticized for not doing enough?
Our scene fails to hold deadbeat dads in the movement accountable. The unpaid organizing work done by a baby's daddy is viewed by him and our scene as being more important than caring for his own kid. People have said that because a baby's daddy is an activist, he shouldn't be made to pay child support. Because many don't think of the work that a mother does--the invisible work of caring for another person and the wage work she does to survive--as important, no one thinks how the father's not paying child support oppresses the mother and her child. Many of us would love to be able to have the privilege of continuing unpaid work as an organizer, too. But most don't have the time or the money to pay for babysitting.
We're tired of our community not recognizing emotional abuse or a partner's drug or alcohol abuse as valid reasons for ending a relationship. We continually fight against this idea that tf we're really anarchists, we should stay in a bad relationship in order to make ends meet.
Birth Control and Reproductive Freedom
We wish that there was more information about effective birth control and that the responsibility to pay for and use birth control fell equally on men and women. We feel that the community as a whole needs to respect individual choices about birth control, from Depro Provera and birth control pills to natural family planning methods.
Especially, when there is so much pressure for women to use the natural family planning method because it's "natural" and it doesn't support pharmaceutical companies. At the same time, everyone we know who got pregnant was using this method. This method fails as a reliable birth control. It is specifically contraindicated for women who are very young and have unpredictable and stressful lives--like every woman in the scene--because these factors affect the regularity of our menstrual cycles. I wish that the risks of the natural planning method were talked about more openly because this misinformation disproportionately impacts us grrrls.
Men need to take an active role in lobbying for male birth control. Where's the goddamn male birth control pill? It's not okay that men are pro-choice, as long as it's pro-their choice. We want the community to support women who chose to be parents and women who chose abortion.
RAMBL is working to engage our communities in a deep conversation about what it means to build a sustainable and accessible movement. RAMBL strives to be an actively pro-mama, pro-women, pro-kid organization in a world that is decidedly not. A revolutionary movement in a society that pushes down moms and kids should actively build a safe place for mamas.
RAMBL women include: young, poor, queer, in recovery, on welfare, sex workers, going to school, working outside of the home, working at home, dropouts, pro-choice, trying to conceive and those who are in your face.
We offer workshops and facilitated discussions on creating family-friendly spaces and organizations. We are a political organization fighting for freedom, autonomy and respect for all mothers. Recognizing that our daily survival is critical to our ability to fight for social justice, we are also organizing toy shares, homework and tutoring nights, childcare collectives, family friendly affordable homes and slumber parties. In the future we will be focusing on increasing support for incarcerated mamas. We'd love to hear from you! For more information, contact RAMBL C/O ARISE! 2441 Lyndale Ave, Minneapolis, MN 55405; rambl@yahoogroups.com
And if you're a mama, give a kiss to your kiddo(s) from us.
mama revolution to be published by the Earth First! Journal in the next press.
spread the joy, mamas. anti-copywrite.
From Interactivist Info Exchange:
http://info.interactivist.net/article.pl?sid=03/04/10/0044200&mode=nested&tid=6
RAMBL (Revolutionary Anarchist Mom and Baby League), April 09, 2003
The radical environmental movement in the US is losing the next generation of families by labeling family issues as irrelevant and failing to see how parenting is a part of the revolution and kids are the next revolutionaries. We're frustrated when the movement for social justice steals our ability as mothers to continue to work as organizers and artists, while whining that not enough parents care about social reforms. We're tired of activists wondering where all the parents are when we're sitting at home with no money, no transportation and no childcare. That is why we have formed the Revolutionary Anarchist Mom and Baby League (RAMBL) to address these issues.
>>
While many of us are struggling for daily survival--looking for living wage jobs, affordable housing, quality childcare and healthcare for our families--the indignity from people who should be our allies has been particularly difficult. We expect to struggle against the world; we don't expect to struggle in our own community. This article is just a baby step in creating a community that is actively pro-family, pro-kid and pro-woman. In turn, we believe that we are crawling toward creating a more humane and just world.
While the issues raised below impact all moms, moms who are women of color, queer, young, disabled and/or poor face disproportionately more oppression. Our collective voice in this article reflects experiences of individual RAMBL mothers. Our intent is not to provide your affinity group with a connect-the-dots solution. Rather, our intent is to open your eyes to our experiences. It is your responsibility to analyze and change privileged assumptions and exclusionary behavior.
Parenting in Our Scene
When we became mothers, our lifestyle options are were reduced. At times members of our activist community criticized us for utilizing the very few resources available (like welfare), while doing nothing to broaden options for activist mothers or create alternatives that are transformative and empowering for both parents and society as a whole.
It bothers us that people have offered support but have never bothered to follow up. We don't want to have to beg people for help, but we do want offers of support to be real. We're tired of seeing other parents as the only people interested in baby-sitting or childcare.
We also have a major problem with someone who doesn't have kids judging our parenting or methods of discipline, especially while failing to recognize the narrow bandwidth of "acceptable" parenting. A mom is called too lenient if she doesn't publicly castigate her child for "misbehaving" (i.e. talks at a meeting). However, this same mom is called too strict when she "makes" the child say please and thank you.
Sure it's great to use cloth diapers, but as a stressed out single mama, it isn't always possible. Holier-than-thou purist advice about things like diapers is something we can't stand. Instead of commenting on how gross you think it is that a mom uses disposable diapers, why don't you help her get a washing machine so that she can wash reusable diapers. Instead of judging, try taking the burden off of her shoulders.
Responsibilities and Relationships
Being proactive and investing in women before a child is born seems like a good idea. Why isn't equal financial support from a baby's daddy an issue of social justice? Why is a father praised for doing anything with his child, but when a mom spends the same amount of time with her kid, she's criticized for not doing enough?
Our scene fails to hold deadbeat dads in the movement accountable. The unpaid organizing work done by a baby's daddy is viewed by him and our scene as being more important than caring for his own kid. People have said that because a baby's daddy is an activist, he shouldn't be made to pay child support. Because many don't think of the work that a mother does--the invisible work of caring for another person and the wage work she does to survive--as important, no one thinks how the father's not paying child support oppresses the mother and her child. Many of us would love to be able to have the privilege of continuing unpaid work as an organizer, too. But most don't have the time or the money to pay for babysitting.
We're tired of our community not recognizing emotional abuse or a partner's drug or alcohol abuse as valid reasons for ending a relationship. We continually fight against this idea that tf we're really anarchists, we should stay in a bad relationship in order to make ends meet.
Birth Control and Reproductive Freedom
We wish that there was more information about effective birth control and that the responsibility to pay for and use birth control fell equally on men and women. We feel that the community as a whole needs to respect individual choices about birth control, from Depro Provera and birth control pills to natural family planning methods.
Especially, when there is so much pressure for women to use the natural family planning method because it's "natural" and it doesn't support pharmaceutical companies. At the same time, everyone we know who got pregnant was using this method. This method fails as a reliable birth control. It is specifically contraindicated for women who are very young and have unpredictable and stressful lives--like every woman in the scene--because these factors affect the regularity of our menstrual cycles. I wish that the risks of the natural planning method were talked about more openly because this misinformation disproportionately impacts us grrrls.
Men need to take an active role in lobbying for male birth control. Where's the goddamn male birth control pill? It's not okay that men are pro-choice, as long as it's pro-their choice. We want the community to support women who chose to be parents and women who chose abortion.
RAMBL is working to engage our communities in a deep conversation about what it means to build a sustainable and accessible movement. RAMBL strives to be an actively pro-mama, pro-women, pro-kid organization in a world that is decidedly not. A revolutionary movement in a society that pushes down moms and kids should actively build a safe place for mamas.
RAMBL women include: young, poor, queer, in recovery, on welfare, sex workers, going to school, working outside of the home, working at home, dropouts, pro-choice, trying to conceive and those who are in your face.
We offer workshops and facilitated discussions on creating family-friendly spaces and organizations. We are a political organization fighting for freedom, autonomy and respect for all mothers. Recognizing that our daily survival is critical to our ability to fight for social justice, we are also organizing toy shares, homework and tutoring nights, childcare collectives, family friendly affordable homes and slumber parties. In the future we will be focusing on increasing support for incarcerated mamas. We'd love to hear from you! For more information, contact RAMBL C/O ARISE! 2441 Lyndale Ave, Minneapolis, MN 55405; rambl@yahoogroups.com
And if you're a mama, give a kiss to your kiddo(s) from us.
mama revolution to be published by the Earth First! Journal in the next press.
spread the joy, mamas. anti-copywrite.
From Interactivist Info Exchange:
http://info.interactivist.net/article.pl?sid=03/04/10/0044200&mode=nested&tid=6
posted by robin reichhardt at 8:59 PM
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